nothing interesting3:28 p.m. - Wednesday, Jul. 06, 2005
so wow. i haven't written in a long time. i didn't check the last time i wrote so i really don't know what all i should update on. lets just skip the update though and commence with today. so..... i have been feeling kind of lonely lately. i feel like i don't really belong anywhere. i moved out of my parents house and i live by myself. actually a friend of mine well......an old friend /new aquaintance moved in with me a month or so ago. and even that sucks cuz we aren't really friends anymore. he does his thing and i do my thing and its just like two strangers living in the same apartment. we don't do anything together and we barely see each other so we don't even so much as say hi to each other.
i really want a boyfriend. i feel like i function better as a person when i am in a relationship. i mean i have been out of a relationship for wow.....a whole year now. probably close to the day even. actually......i think tomorrow will be a year since i broke it off.........wow...... a whole year without joseph. sometimes it feels like just yesterday i was with him and sometimes i can't even remember being with him. i barely remember sometimes. isn't that sad. and other times i feel like i am going to die of depression because i can't ever forget the way i felt when i was with him. i felt loved beyond loved. i had so much fun being with him. i doubt he would even want to be with me again. i always loved to see him. he was silly and would do anything to make me smile. i miss that.
the other day i went on a date with this guy that i have wanted to go out with for the past couple of months. it was way fun! i was sooo nervous when he asked me to dinner i thought i wouldn't be able to breathe. then when he came and picked me up it was so nice. i really enjoyed being with him.we went out to galveston and ate at willie g's. then we just crossed the street and walked the strand. then he took me home and he came inside and we talked for like an hour. it was sooooo nice. then he left and that was it. he was going out of town the next day for the holiday weekend and i haven't heard from him since. i don't konw whats going to come of it but it was nice. i haven't felt that good and enjoyed someone's company so much since joe. this guy definitely didn't beat joe but it was nice. i think i will be in love with joe till the day i die.